Accountability

September 13, 2026

Romans 14

            Today Paul gives us an important word on being a community of faith together.  Because what he is saying is so important, I’m going to add extra verses to what the lectionary recommends and read the entire chapter. Listen for the Word of God as it speaks to you today from Romans 14.

            READ

            It’s been another one of those weeks.  The twenty-fifth anniversary of 9/11… and seeing the same anti-Muslim prejudice on display.  What have we learned in all this time?  One political party openly playing upon the desperate gullibility of the electorate by offering to buy your vote for $5000.  Another week of economic pressure.  Another week of a war that isn’t a war… and is over but is not over… is won but is lost.  Another week of life in these times… another week of pressures looking to divide us both inside and out.

            So today… I want to talk about play.  I want to talk about being a community that is built upon the goodness of Christ.  I want to talk about this and make this important… more important than all that other headline stuff… because, you know, this coming week… it’s going to be another one of those weeks.  It’s always going to be another one of those weeks that threatens to strip away the glory of God from our lives.

            Now… I know I’ve talked with you before about how I believe play is important when it comes to the lives of our children.  Through play… especially unstructured or kid led play… kids learn important lessons about how to relate with other people.  I play games with the kids in our youth groups because it always reveals who this group is going to be in community. Play helps us to build up our group connections. Helps to build trust in our relationships as we get to know one another better. Helps us learn about others who are not like ourselves… developing the skills or strategies to get along with people who are so different from who we are… or how we see and do things. Play… good messy not always conflict free play… helps to create empathy among kids… and really helps to build that necessary self-awareness so that each child can be part of that immediate playing community.  The old saying is true… winning is not always important… it’s how you play the game.

            Now… I know that for some of you… it has been a long time since you were kids… and maybe in all those decades you’ve forgotten what it was like to be a child playing with other children.  But I’ll let you in on a little secret. Are you ready? The behaviors that come out during children’s play are often the same behaviors that come out when adults come together on their own playgrounds. 

            One game I like to play with kids is a game called foursquare. It’s a simple game.  Really easy to pick up.  Pretty much anyone can play the game.  Without going into too much detail about the game itself, what you need to know is that the rules of foursquare are easy to follow.   There are four squares… king, queen, jack and mush.  That’s what I’ve always called them… but different people sometimes call them by different names.  I think what you call each square depends on when and where you learned to play the game.  At the beginning of each round, the king can add new rules to make the game more challenging.  Ways you can or cannot hit the ball.  It’s kinda like in poker where the dealer calls out what is wild or by what rules this hand is going to be played. Foursquare is what I would call a continuous game … in that, there isn’t a definite beginning or end like a baseball game or something.  You play for as long as there is interest in playing and people to play.  The game is more circular so with each round you win or you lose… you advance up the squares… or you get knocked out of the game… having to get in the back of the line to wait for your turn to reenter the game.  One moment you can be the king running the game… and in the next round you could be standing at the end of the line while a new king takes over the top space.  

            Are you picking up on all the game of life metaphors I’m throwing at you?

            Like I said, there is a basic set of rules in the game.  But… there is no umpire or judge. The players and those who are waiting to play are the ones who help make the calls. Since the game involves a fast moving, bouncing ball and lines marking whether something is in or out… there are going to be disagreements and conflicts.  The players are going to argue.  Did the ball hit inbounds or out?  Which player is out and has go to the end of the line. Just like in life, how each child handles those disagreements and conflicts reveals a lot about themselves. Some might argue a bit, but when they see that the group agrees they are out… they will leave and the game will go on. Some will argue and start to look for a compromise… let’s do a do over. And if the group isn’t for it… they will still leave and the game will go on. Then there are those children who get emotional and for whom things become personal… and they will make a scene… throw a bit of a tantrum and sometimes will quit the game altogether… going off in a dramatic pout. Those kids more often than not try to ruin the game for everyone else.  Usually kicking or throwing the ball away so someone has to go get it before the game can resume.  Many a quitter will linger around stirring up trouble.

            Trust me when I tell you… not all children grow out of that behavior… even after some decades have passed.

            Play foursquare for a little while and you will learn which kids have a hard time with conflict… which kid can’t easily function in the group without some dramatic blow up. You will learn which child will try to dominate the game through manipulating the rules when they are the king… shifting and adding new rules… usually to their own advantage.  Kids learn fast what is fair and just… and what is being unfairly manipulated. Play the game and you will discover who are your peacemakers… which child wants to keep the game going and consistently suggests ways to work through conflicts. And you also see which kids are happy to just play the game and play it without any problems… going in and out of the game with ease… just having fun together is more important than anything.   Those kids are a big part of why the game keeps going and doesn’t break down over and over again because of someone’s dramatic tantrum.

            It really gets interesting when you get to play the game with the same group of kids over time. Like I said earlier… you really begin to see the community that takes shape and how the kids begin to relate to one another as they learn each other’s behavior patterns. You see how trash talking in the game… how trash talking on the one hand can be mean and hurtful… how it can reveal negative inner group feelings about one another.  But on the other hand… you can see how trash talking can also bond a group together. You can see how… what from the outside might look like merciless teasing… inside the group are actual statements of affection… revealing a certain level of trust.

            Remember the child who can’t help but meltdown? Trash talking in play can sometimes push that child out of the group especially when they refuse to modify their own behavior… insisting that the group must always accommodate their bad behavior no matter what.  Play requires give and take… compromise and forgiveness and moving on so the game can continue.  Trash talking can call out a child’s bad behavior… help them become more aware of what they’re doing… what they’re causing to happen.  Trash talking can sometimes provide the way back into community. In other words, a community that has been together and knows one another well… we can call out each other when we need to.  We heard about that from last week’s scripture reading.  We can also forgive one another when we need to because we know each other… we know our own weaknesses… we can make accommodations when Suzie has her meltdown, because Suzie isn’t her meltdown.  Suzie is that person that we love… that we care about… that we know God loves and cares about.  Suzie… weak or strong… is a valued member of our community… and we have her back. Just as Suzie has our back when we have our not so shining moment and need that bit of grace and understanding ourselves.

            And that’s what Paul is teaching us. It is that same lesson of everyday grace.  Not a simple cure all self-help guarantee type of lesson… but a lesson that gives direction to help us get back to the game we’re playing.  In his theology, each person in the faith community… each person was there because each person was called by God. And who they were… how they responded to that calling… how they were gifted by the spirit… what they understood as very important in living out their faith… or what wasn’t very important… all that and more comes along with each person in community.  Paul teaches that the only way the community was going to hold together was to have God at the center. God through Christ had to be the heart of each and every community of faith because Paul knew from experience… as we know from experience… that if God was not there at the center, people would take some other issue and make it the center.

            In Paul’s time the eating of certain foods was one of those life or death issues for some communities. Is that the issue for us today? No. We have our own issues that we believe are so important… that rise to a certain level of line in the sand divisiveness… issues and disagreements that will destroy our relationships with one another… will cause some of us to turn on others… to hatefully judge… to have dramatic blowups and quit.  

            Either the game can be brought to a screeching halt… or we can try to work together in our differences to find a way to continue playing the game.  In the footnotes of the Bible I have at home, it says this… “More important than our right to eat and drink as we please is our obligation not to destroy the work of God by making our brother or sister stumble.”

            The congregations that I would call healthy… the ones that are working are those where you can easily see grace and forgiveness at work. Where there is the understanding that Fred is a bit crazy and has some weird ideas… but you know he’s one of us and we’re going to give him the room to be his own special kind of crazy.  At the same time though, there is accountability to the work of God being done in the congregation… and sometimes Fred’s crazy needs to be held in check… it has to stay on this side of the line of his passing judgment on others’ crazy in the congregation… or turning every disagreement into a quarrel that threatens again and again to burn the whole thing down.

            Have some awareness about yourself… and about the community that God has placed you in. That seems to be what Paul is driving us towards. We heard it earlier in the letter… “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” And for Paul that means discerning what is essential for all versus what may be important to one. It may also mean using our liberty… our freedom in Christ to help another in their own journey of faith… rather than putting myself first. Being in a community of Christ… it’s a simple game really, so it is easy to pick up. And really, anyone can play the game. The rules are easy to follow. The game is continuous… in that, there isn’t a definite beginning or end… the game is more circular where sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But what matters most… what matters most is that God is glorified through the game that is being played together… and that love increases in the playing. Amen.